I was recently scrolling through Youtube and thought I had exhausted ALL unwatched videos in the quarantine world, but then I saw this funniest video by Julie Nolke and instantly knew that this was a topic that would break my writers block/fast!
So here I am, wondering if ‘Quarantined Me’ would really have given so many hints to the oblivious ‘Free Me’ 5 months back, if given a chance.
Actually, Ignorance is Bliss. Hope ya’ll are safe and sound!
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Quarantined Me: Hey, you lucky LUCKY lady! How are you?
Free Me: Woah, you look exactly like me! Who are you?
Quarantined Me: I am you, from 5 months in future. I don’s have much time and I am sure this is not legal. But I want to give you some hints on what’s going to happen in the next 5 months.
Free Me: Okaaay…this is a first!?
Well, I just celebrated the New Year’s Eve and I am so excited for all the plans I have made for 2020. I know this year is going to be life changing.
By the way, why do you look chubby? Have you been boredom eating? Bro, what about our determined resolution to not binge on chips and chocolates?
Quarantined Me [clearly nervous]: Okay umm, where do I start? I am going to try to give you a few hints about your upcoming rollercoaster ride, but I cannot tell you much, okay?
So, good news or bad news?
Free Me [excitedly]: Good news, of course! Am I finally going to make that Colorado road trip happen? Do I finally have abs? Do I have a busy productive year?
Quarantined Me: Hahaha, okay. Well, good news. Oh yes, you are going to live your introvert DREAM! You will actually be appreciated for staying away from people.
Free Me [wide-eyed]: Really?! So, no socializing? Are you kidding me?
Quarantined Me: Totally virus, oops I mean serious. And your work will finally allow working from home. Umm, every day.
Free Me: Dude! Cannot believe that. So, no socializing + no water-cooler small talks?!
Quarantined Me: Yup. And world pollution will reduce so much that you can see the Himalayas from Jalandhar! And solar system from the earth.
Okay ignore the last bit.
Nature will heal. Peacocks and antelopes will walk on the city roads like a boss. Rajkot’s Yagnik road and Ahmedabad’s CG road will have all the space to drive and park.
Free Me [unbelievably]: All of that in 5 months? Sounds like 2020 will be the magical year we all needed. But how would this happen?!
Quarantined Me: Shh, we are still on good news. Oh, and the most fun part. You won’t believe this. Papa will enter the kitchen back in Rajkot and learn how to make shaak and rotli!
Free Me: Whatt?! None of us could make that happen. Something fishy is going on for sure.
Anyway, you know I have started this amazing 2020 planner and I can’t wait to plan a lot of trips and hikes! Mummy Papa Pranju and Dadi are coming to the US in May and I am going to start a countdown! We are going to Niagara and NYC and take road trips in Texas… and we might go to Colorado with the Ahmedabad parents and I am thinking where else….umm..
Quarantined Me [laughs so much that has tears in eyes]: Okay, good time to break the bad news. Umm, no easy way to do this. There will be no travelling happening. Well, if you consider grocery runs as trips, then yeah.
And for the planner, you can use it for doodling and planning how to use your time indoors. You like to cook, right?
Free Me [now sounding panicked]: Wait up, what do you mean by no travelling? We have already booked a lot of tickets dude! I also want to take them around the city and show them grocery stores and how they are always stocked up with fruits and veggies and cans and toilet paper…
Quarantined Me: No! No toilet paper! Umm, you should check out bidets on Amazon. You will reaaally thank me later. And speaking of grocery, you should run to a store and stock up on EVERYTHING, maybe some baking ingredients too.
Free Me: But WHY?! No travelling and stocking up on food?
Quarantined Me: And umm, you should start working out. Get a little strong. Get your lungs strong. Have you been taking your Vitamin C?
Free Me: That does not make ANY sense. Get my lungs strong?!
Quarantined Me: Uh huh. And a good time to read a few self-help books, ya know, like dealing with stress, acceptance, avoid stress eating, practicing meditation.
Free Me: Acceptance? What do I need to accept? No more of that. Kinchit is giving me those philosophical lectures all the time! I am going to have to talk to him about how I have had enough.
Quarantined Me: No! Nope, you don’t want to fight with him. You want it or not, he is going to be your co-worker, co-gymmer, sous chef and your buddy. Well, your only buddy.
Free Me (wide-eyed): Dude, what IS going to happen to me in the next 4 months? You are scaring me!
Quarantined Me: Hey, now, deep breaths. You are going to need that a lot.
You are going to be fine. I mean, a lot of others unfortunately won’t be, but you are going to deal with this okay. On a positive side, we are going to realize importance of a lot of things that we took for granted, and we all needed that I guess.
Free Me (teary and upset): So, no socializing, no travelling, no pollution, working from home…I guess I was happy without any hints from you. Go awaaay!
Quarantined Me: Just trying to give you a heads up. Stop reading the news. See you on the other side!
Oh and last thing – is your Netflix working fine?
A place called Here... 